Wednesday 16 September 2009

Latest, Latest, Read All about it, Swine Flu In France update


It’s such a perfect day
I’m glad i spent it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging IN.

lou reed (sort of)


I’ve found my belt!

Out with the dry cantankerous supermarket replacement, and in with the warm embrace of an old friend.

Oh the unbridled joy! (or, more accurately since it’s a belt, oh what bridled joy!)

So, off to work with a hop, skip and a jump.

Half way there – disaster!

A sudden need to blow my nose, I’m overtaking a lorry, I reach for the packet of tissues in my bag, it was only just a little bit out of reach on the back seat………

You know those really nifty paper handkerchiefs, made by Sniff? Exciting images and colours?

Mine, the last one in the packet, a beautiful graphic of penguins at one (never can remember) of the Poles.

I don’t know how – it could be something to do with my bag, could have been just the sweat from overtaking that truck or maybe it's down to Global Warming - but all at once I had a perfect print of An Emperor Penguin on my nose!

And it DIDN'T rub off!

WHAT has this got to do with swine flu -Gripe A – in France?

Klenex!

In the local supermarket the ANTI-Viral tissue has arrived! (However, i chose the ones in the photo)

There’s no need for a vaccine!

Which is good, because rumour has it that the Chinese have beaten the French to this particular holy grail.

The fact that Louis Pasteur was French means that France is very enthusiastic about vaccines. They would, if the Pasteur Institute had its way, offer them to you with a coffee and croissant every morning, just to make sure you are all right.

My son’s high school threatened to ban him from sleeping in the dormitoriess if we didn’t produce a tetanus certificate more recent than the ten year old one WE were offering.

They don’t care that he sleeps in class though.

Even our vet is at it.

Well, not MY vet - obviously – our CAT'S vet.

He tried to convince them that they had aids and started them on a renewable (6 month) vaccine.

The fact that they were perfectly healthy before - just annoyingly persistant at the fridge door - and started limping as soon as it got into their blood stream, convinced us to stop.

Ok, the cost too.

But they are fine.

So what IS happening in France with the dreaded Gripe A apart from anti-viral Klenex that promise – Kills 99.9 percent of all flu germs!

Well, some of us, me, are worrying about that 0.1% which must be very nasty. I am hoping that the public meeting that has been organised in the local town hall next week will address such concerns.

However, I’m not sure it is wise for us all to gather in one confined space. The man who runs the local butchers looks very ill to me.

More interestingly perhaps, is the decision to close the Lycee in Gaillac for 10 days because six of the students MIGHT – have something fluey.

They came back from two months holiday, coughed in nervous anticipation of work and the authorities closed the place and sent everyone home.

If my son wakes up and takes notice, and gets organised with the rest of his group a simple rota system will keep their school closed to Christmas.

2 comments:

Martin Mackenzie said...

Maybe I could help! I could stop by his Lycée tomorrow on my way back from the Chiropractor, and sort of collapse on the doorstep - so to speak - and when the suit comes to kick me into the gutter, I'll sort of turn and vomit-sneeze in his general direction, whilst moaning my only piece of arabian swearing.

popps said...

Let them work it out themselves, i say.