From A Very Distant Archive, far, far away. 31.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

A long time ago someone started The Archives, housing it in an old fisherman’s hut at the end of a long wooden jetty alongside an ocean, probably the Pacific.

His name was Mr Russell.

He was a fisherman.

At the time he was referred to as “the bloke who started the archives”, but over time he involved into Head Archivist, gave up fishing and installed electricity to the hut so that they could be artificially illuminated at night, thus allowing 24-hour access.

When the people living in the houses above the fisherman’s hut, petitioned the local council about the nocturnal activity, Mr Russell personally handled the plank by plank relocation (including the jetty) of The Archives to it’s present location on an isolated headland honeycombed with millions of caves – some explored some waiting to be.

Some years later - a period that covered The Unexpected Fires, The First of The Floodings and The Partial Collapse that buried (for ever?) the contents of The Cave of Things Best Left Unsaid – the young Miss Penny arrived as a research student.

What happened next has already been documented.

What happened after remains shrouded in uncertainty.

When her demands were met Mr Russell was summoned and asked how, and if, The Archives could sanction TWO Head Archivists.

He asked to be alone with Miss Penny.

A priest was called.

An hour later, a newly married man choosing his young bride’s name for his own, he disappeared.

Rumour has it that he can be found in The Submerged House – if you can find the Submerged House.

Only the one photo sits on Mrs Penny’s desk, in her office in The Fisherman’s Hut, which she rarely leaves.

From A Very Distant Archive, far, far away. 30.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

From A Very Distant archive, far,far away. 29. (And The Thought of the Day Holiday Postcard 5)

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

So is that it, is it time to go home?

What do you mean?

Well, the postcard – it’s the summer festival in the local village back home isn’t it?

It is.

So we have to go home?

Don’t you want to?

No, I like it here in The Archives.

You want to stay here?

Yes.

Forever?

Yes, mellow memories; happy hauntings; resplendent recollections; special secrets – I don’t want to go anywhere else.

The past is golden.

From A Very Distant Archive, Far, far away. 28.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Tonight, leaving The Archives after a hard day of delving, I decided to take the old way over the cliffs.

No one uses this path anymore, but that’s why I like it – so saying goodnight to the hardworking staff that were headed for the tavern, I headed towards the open spaces of the ocean’s edge.

I felt elated, the ocean can do that and I marvelled at the freedom stretching to infinity that the blue waters seem to promise.

Walking on, the path dips to the small sandy cove where some say mermaids dwell.

I don’t know, I didn’t see any.

Climbing out of the cove, where the track becomes very narrow, closed in by wild fusia I noticed the moon had risen.

Not full, not new but bright, bright and beautiful.

I wondered if anyone else was looking at it and I suddenly felt very alone and overwhelmed by the beauty of everything.

It was then that I came to the empty house; I had forgotten it was here.

There was no light, naturally, just the reflection of moonlight on the waiting windows.

I tried the door.

It was unlocked and I stepped inside.

No one called hello, no cat came to see who I was.

The fireplace was cold, yet I sat in the chair and stared into the embers that were no longer there.

A family once thrived here.

I felt at home, I felt like an intruder – so leaving a wish by the chimney I left.

From a Very distant Archive, far, far away. 27.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Some of The Archives are so old that they are labelled – OLD.

Some of The Archives are so new, that they are labelled – OLD.

It’s always been like this.

As Mrs Penny says – time and tide wait for no man.

Grow up.

Get used to it.

Move on.

The Archives are heartless.

The Archives ARE the heart.

Do I write better in this chair or that?

I wonder…

Maybe I don’t write very well anyway, in which case it doesn’t matter where I sit.

So I’ll sit here – the light is better here this evening  (summer, hot, late, alone etc, etc ).

……

It all began with the butterfly…..

No, it began with the phone call…..

The tattoo – it was the tattoo…..

Probably it began before all that - with a message sent and the thoughts that accompanied the sending – it’s usually so….

But let’s start with the butterfly.

It was surprising – three layered in a way butterflies never are; an almost human form, curled and sleeping.

There were colours – bright orange and summer yellow, leaf like  - and everything held in miniature, maybe in a can.

I was taking photos, but I was speaking to my niece.

“What was the tattoo of?” she asked; “The one I had in summer?”

I was trying to describe the butterfly to her, trying to make her realise how amazing it was – but she insisted.

“The tattoo?”

I remember it was on her shoulder  - (it isn’t) – but surely this butterfly was more important?

“An angel!” – I had remembered.

And the butterfly was gone.

Then I was by the ocean.

And the butterfly was there again.

But..

She was a woman, her back was toward me, she was black (trousers) and white (shirt); she carried a small leather bag on her back.

She was facing the light and the light was strong.

The light was radiant, blinding and I knew something was about to happen.

I fumbled with my camera; the intensity of the light bleached every detail from the scene.

My camera could not cope; I was too slow.

Her bag spilt open and two magnificent wings unfurled, enveloping the light, became the light, was the light.

It started without light.

It finished as light.

She was gone.

I woke.

From A Very Distant Archive, far, far away. 26.

From A very Distant Archive, far, far away. 25.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Do we know everything there is to know about The Archives?

The Fisherman’s hut (very little); The Caves – quite a lot; Mrs Penny? - yes; Mr Penny – a bit; The annexe’s?(anexi/anexee) - some; my spelling - a lot; The Blue Van, The Locked Vault, The Submerged House?

Hang on.

The Submerged House?

What of it?

Here’s a picture.

Pre-submergence.

It is of course difficult to access stuff from The Submerged House.

A trip, quite long needs to be made, and of course a swim.

But for those willing to, the rewards are great.

Today we managed this....

From a Very Distant Archive, far, far away. 24.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

You may need to turn your computer over.

This is known as the Mrs Penny manoevure here in The Archives.

From a Distant archive, far, far away. 23.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

From a Distant Archive, far, far away. 22. (And Thought of The Day Holiday Postcard 4).

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Who’s that?

Mr Penny.

MR!!!!?

Yep.

She’s married??!!!

Who?

MRS Penny.

Seems so.

How can it be?

Boy meets Girl, someone says shall we, the other say’s yes – it’s not rocket science.

No – I mean – how can it be that we never knew.

The Archives are full of things that you never knew, or, things you never KNEW you knew, or things you had forgotten you knew.

Yeah but this is knew… I mean,…. New.

The Archives are full of that too.

What?

New stuff. Stuff that wasn’t there the last time you looked. They are organic. Even the looking creates archives.

What!? We’ll be here forever!

I hope so.

Where is Mr Penny today then, he’s not here is he?

This is the only document pertaining and Mrs Penny is unusually stum on the matter.

Looks like he’s in a bar in Ireland. Are there The Archives in Ireland?

There are rumours of forest caves and a submerged house.

Really?

Well they wouldn’t be rumours if they were, would they?


Strong point.

From a Distant Archive, far, far away. 21

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

One evening, working late in The Archives.   (photo by lucy)

From a Distant Archive, far, far away. 20.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Apart from the permanent staff, The Archives can be home to any number of research students, intrepid explorers or energetic tourists.

One time a visitor fell asleep at a table in the outer reaches – the information housed in The Archives can do that to you.

Unfortunately, on this occasion one of the staff – a new recruit in his first week – mistook the sleeping person for one of the exhibits and dutifully locked the visitor away in the artefact cupboard at the end of the day.

When she work up she was pretty angry, something that became compounded over the ensuing three days; at that time The Archives respected religious holidays.

When staff heard the shouts and bangs the following Tuesday they immediately rushed to the artefact cupboard and released her.

By now of course her anger and sense of injustice was intense.

The staff tried everything to placate her – tea, cup cakes and even lifetime membership.

Then, possibly in desperation, someone offered her the hitherto non-existent post of Head Archivist in Perpetuity. They must have figured that either the fact that the post didn’t exist or the excessively long period of tenure would elicit a polite but honoured refusal.

Instead she accepted and calmed down instantly.

Mrs Penny was 16 at the time.

This was fifty years ago today.

Some say that her actual age is a simple coincidence.

To celebrate her appointment it is customary for Mrs Penny to break open one of the (many) locked drawers stored in the Locked Vault of the central chamber.

Occasionally, when searching for something else in The Archives,  people stumble across a locked drawer and it is taken and stored in the Locked Vault to wait especially for this yearly ritual.

Why the drawers are locked and even who locked them is something that no one has an answer for, but the once-a year opening of one such is an event that few would choose to miss.

Today we found this.

From a Distant Archive, far, far away. 19.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Mrs Penny dropped a bombshell yesterday – she has decided to relocate The Archives!

It’s going to be an outrageous project.

As you may have gathered SOME of The Archives are housed in caves buried deep in the cliffs where the old fisherman’s hut stands.

No one has yet seen the old fisherman’s hut but we do now have a photo of The Very West Wing of The Archives that lay some way from the Caves themselves.

But the reason for Mrs Penny’s decision – though some have muttered dictate – is neither of these; it is the Old Blue Van.

The Old Blue Van constitutes one of the many explored annexes to The Archives and yesterday whilst rummaging in the unlabeled boxes hidden underneath the stove the following document was unearthed.

Three un’s in a sentence there!

Unsurprisingly Mrs Penny was intrigued.

Then she was outraged.

The intrigue was evident, perhaps – inspiration and source are her speciality; she had been tickled by recent comments that The Archives reminded some people of Miss Dorrit and The Circumlocution Office when the truth remained hidden but known.

The outrage came because she had clearly forgotten these documents and she prides herself on her uncanny memory. Page 29 shocked her.

In an impulsive gesture she announced impromptu plans to relocate and began packing boxes and crates.

She may calm down and reflect on the practicality but she was heard to say that moving an archive is as good as a rest.

And there was a Lost Pacific Coast Headlands real estate brochure on her desk this morning.

For the moment I’ll sit here in the Van and see what happens.

From a Distant archive, far, far away. 18.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

'What was that? It sounded like a phone. But we don’t have a phone.'

This conversation took place in The Archives the other night and is now, of course, archived itself.

It’s become part of the whole.

This happens in The Archives – to artefacts and people alike. They become part of the whole.

That ........ or they wholly fall apart.

We looked around at each other – all asking the same unspoken question (did you smuggle a mobile phone past Mrs Penny ?– she’ll kill you!).

We hadn’t.

We know better.

Then we started searching.

The ringing continued and we tracked it down to behind a wall in the 1980’s (remember that the rooms that hold most, we think, of The Archives are in fact caves).

The walls were pretty thick but the ringing was insistent – ‘it sounds like 1986’, said someone.

Long-distance.

The investigation continues…….




You in the van?
You too sweet d...
We've arrived!
No we are in the...
Ooh it's ok i will r...
Ah me no xx tha...
Very good! You c...
Marks An der flo...
Did you get my s....
So tired today i....
Please call me ba...
Well done i just p...
Have a good trip...
Pound! Did you y...
Isn't that treaso...
Watching top ha...
N


editors note - something happened here, fire broke out in the archives, there are no sprinklers and most of this list was lost, this is all that remains. Shame, it was a good one too.

From a Very Distant Archive, far far away. 17.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

From a Distant Archive, far, far away. 16.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Time passes slowly, here in the mountains (old fisherman’s hut and caves of The Archives).

I sit beside bridges and walk beside fountains
(of knowledge).

Catch the wild fishes that float through the stream (well not actually, but I do look at a LOT of bits of paper).

Time passes slowly when you are lost in a dream.

(The Archives are full of dreams- abandoned or not.)

Once I had a sweetheart she was fine and good-looking.

(Her memory is here in The Archives.)

Abandoned?

Waiting?

I’m staring out the window at the stars high above.

Time passes slowly, when you’re searching…

Time passes slowly up here where there’s no daylight


I stare straight ahead and try so hard to stay right


Like the red rose of summer that blooms in the day


Time passes slowly and fades away

The Archives can break your heart.

Ask Mrs Penny.

From a Very Distant Archive, far, far away. 15. (and Thought of the Day Holiday Postcard 3)

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Hey, there you are.

Here i am.

I’ve been looking everyw…….Nice place !

Yep- the West Wing.

The West Wing ?

The VERY West Wing.

I feel like i’ve been here before.

You have.

I have?

Yes, but it wasn’t part of The Archives before.

Eh?

It can only be part of The Archives if it was somewhere else before, ready to be archived. When you were here last time it was a pre-archive.

Like a pre-fabricated house?

Yeah, well, sort of. Anyway it’s the Very West Wing now and if I’m not around I’m probably here.

Ok. Cool. Are you going to the party?

Party?

Mrs Penny’s.

She parties?!?

She does!

After this sunset then.

From a Distant Archive, far, far away. 14.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

The Archives are (as some people know without being told) the most important part of Bitsnbobs. Nothing would possibly be done at any time without the acquiescence of the ‘delightful’ Mrs Penny- unless of course she is eating pie at the time, in which case nothing will be done and you will just have to wait.

She likes her pie.

That said, it’s a glorious place with sublime and shining examples of mislaid thought caused by how-to-do-it hesitation.

If you enter with a sense of delicate perception, tact (always useful in dealing with Mrs Penny) and genuine (if not genius) respect you will discover much to help you rise over the top of the darkest depths of inspiration. (Which reminds me that Batman Rises is due for release in 6 days!)

The Archives (the archives that go beyond beyond!) have something to do with everything, nothing to do with never and everything to do with anything else.

Is that clear?

What I mean is that Archives go to the back of beyond and I am trying my best – not easy – to bring some of that back and put it here in the daylight.

But don’t get me wrong; The Archives are well lit – sometimes mechanically in a Dickensian way, sometimes through state of the art natural process. It’s just that sometimes stuff gets missed.

Not just stuff either.

Numbers of people have got lost in here - I’m hoping it will happen to me – some of the secretaries are cute and the reputation of the cooking is legion.

Why would I want to reappear in the light of day when I can trade it for the excitement of the Archived night?

Yes The Archives are open during the day- and there is much to see – but they really come alive in the evening and there are many sections that can only be found by full moonlight.

These are known by habitués as the Hidden Moons, and they number 13 – though only half have been discovered as of date.

Many years ago The Archives were attacked by the angry and suspicious people of the nearby village of Umloc forcing a move to the present location in the lost caves. 

These were distressing times for Mrs Penny and frankly speaking she put on a lot of weight and we feared for her sanity.

It was shortly after that a wealthy and farsighted benefactor left Bundle, a dog, among the newspaper clippings of the fourth floor. It took him several days to eat his way through them by which time Mrs Penny had found him, saved what remained, fell in love and named Bundle her assistant in permanence.

There was some initial objection from the Trustees but acceptance was voted in at the AGM by an accommodating majority.

Much of The Archive’s subsequent resurrection- along with Mrs Penny’s – is down to the dog.

This is the only other known photo of Bundle.

further explanation of The Archives as opposed to the archives here - the editor

From a Very Distant Archive, far , far, away. 13.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Some people are confused about The Archives – they are suffering from Archivaffusion, a deadly malady.

And I am probably to blame!

Which means I am likely to be both the most confused amongst us AND the one who needs to explain.

It’s like this…..

There are the archives and The Archives – miniscule and capital.

Lower case and upper case, in case that wasn’t clear.

As is often the case.

The ‘the archives’ are over there on the left in the menu bit thingy – where it says – Blog Archives (or- stuff previously posted on this blog - depending on the day of the week). Just above the green words that say ‘original content’ which in turn are above the black words that say ‘you may need this’ – which you probably don’t.

It’s confusing that the archives have a capital letter in ‘Blog Archives’ when I have just told you that the difference between them and The Archives is the use of the capital or not.

Sorry.

The Archives are over THERE – a really long way away, across mountain and stream, on distant shore and deep within the lost caves of outrageous beyond.

They harbour all treasure of things lost, forgotten and waiting, the archives in contrast just hold pages of the past posts of this blog.

Though they too are lost, forgotten and waiting for something.

The other difference is that I (me) am sole proprietor of the archives. For The archives that honour lays with the formidable Mrs Penny and her assistant, a dog, Bundle.

In The Archives I am just a visitor, tolerated for what I may leave behind and humoured for what I may discover.

Mrs Penny likes the occasional hand, but has been known to bite it off.

From a Very Distant Archive, far, far away.12.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Your past can catch up with you in The Archives.

The past is always present.

A Very Distant Archive, far, far away. 11.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

There are many gaps in The Archives.

Absence is a constant theme.

This absence means everything.

This absence means nothing.

From a Very Distant Archive, far, far away. 10.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

From a Very Distant Archive, far, far, away. 9.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Although the trip to The Archives is timely, fraught with danger and shrouded in excessive mystery- they are not as cut of from the outside world as many people think. They are in fact alive and news reaches Mrs Penny even as it is imagined and readers comments on this blog are filed separately for the attention of Bundle her dog - who usually chews them up. So when recently a reader from overseas suggested the archives resembled The Circumlocution Office  from one of Dickens' books, Mrs Penny diligently cross-referenced with the external archives (ah yes! The Archives themselves have archives!!) before giving Bundle his supper. She turned up the following– "a name employed by Charles Dickens in his serial novel Little Dorrit (1855–1857) to designate wearisome government bureaucracy."

Let it be stated that The Bitsnbobs Archives are in no way supported by, or supportive off, government bureaucracy.

They are wearisome only to the already weary (to paraphrase Samuel Johnson).

(And maybe to readers).

To the researcher they are a tearful joy and i may never leave them.

From a Very Distant Archive, far, far away. 8. (and Thought of the Day Holiday Postcard 2)

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

God it's hot in the Archives!

It is.

The research staff are nice though, aren't they?

Well, Mrs Penny is a bit scary - but this lot are friendly.

Here, take my picture.

Hey, nice camera! REALLY nice swimming costume!

From a Very Distant Archive, far, far away. 7.

All this month of July the editorial staff of Bitsnbobs have shut themselves away in the distant archives. They hope to turn up a few gems, but whatever they find THERE will appear HERE.

Some of the archives make no sense, some of the archives make sense and some make part sense.